Friendship

I wonder, why friendship can bring so many frustrations? The truth is, friendship doesn’t last for eternity. But then why? It’s not like you’ll be remembering him or her after ten or twenty years, unless you keep in touch with them.

I’m bond to silence. I don’t talk to people at school. Even with my fellow prefects friends. She said it right, “It’s not that I don’t talk to them, it’s that I have nothing to talk to them.” And all they talk were rubbish. The last sentence said it all. They talk nonsense.

People said I’m lonely. F you, I’m not. I don’t want to defense myself. When anyone asks me that, I just look at her, turn away or just smile. That’s the fact.

I’ll choose to talk to adults or teachers more than the fellows that were same age with me. I don’t know why, but that’s what I prefer. It’s the feeling that you get to benefit when you talk to elders, more than fiddling with your fellows all day.

I going to tell you one true story. About friendship. It’s real and if you doubt it then never mind. I do find the whole thing quite hilarious but at the same time it’s not a thing to laugh.

It’s a brand new year and everyone get separated to a new class. And it’s normal to have new friends. A girl who sat beside me, whom I will call her A, get to know with another girl, whom I will call her B. A and B quickly became good friends.

…. (omit more nonsense, getting to the real point now) On our Facebook Class Group, there’s always the abbreviation of the word ‘PSP’, and it seems our classmates always talk about it. And I guess they are referring to someone, that’s it, other than that, I don’t know the true identity of that person.

Then when A comes online, she saw the ‘PSP’ thing so she asked classmates who were online at the group chat. Here’s how it goes:

• A: Who’s this PSP you guys are talking about?
• C: You sure you wanna know?
• D: Oh, it’s B lah. It’s a incident that happened during last year…. (omit more nonsense again) So we call her PSP.
• C: Why you tell her??!!
• D: She want to know the truth mah. Then I tell her lor.
• A: So that’s the reason you guys don’t friend her lah.
• C: Yes. Even the boys knew this.
• E: You tau tak (know or not) she is very good friends with PSP leh.
• D: I know… A, you won’t tell her right?
• A: I won’t tell her. Promise.

Then A ask me something…

• A: You know the PSP (B) thing already right?
• Me: Yes.
• A: Do you hate PSP?

I froze. True, I do find B quite annoying and she loves to provoke me sometimes. But I never showed my resentful side of her to anyone. I got over with it. And at the same time I don’t wanna hurt A’s feelings.

I just replied…

• Me: Seriously I don’t hate anyone. I’m neutral.
• A: =)

TOTAL BIG LIE BUT FINE. #pokerface.jpg

And from that very day, A treats B very cold. She never talks to B. And day after day B finds that it’s very unusual and weird. B evens ask me why. All I told her was  “She got some troublesome things to take care. Better don’t provoke her.”  ANOTHER BIG LIE. But never mind. A said I’m ‘well said’.

One more thing worth mentioning was A kept sending notes to B. Before that (before the whole thing about PSP), B also sent a note to me. The content was mostly about letting her be oral partners with A. But I refuse. Serve her right. She make up something about ‘will be transferring school anytime and want to have good memories with A’. Rubbish. Everyone knows it’s a lie. Wonderful memories can be made by using many ways.

I am quite surprised that she use such ‘traditional’ way. And I also thought this type of childish act only happens in elementary or primary school. B sent A approximately 4 notes already, but B received no response from A.

Most of her notes always have these:

1. Dear A… – made A wanted to throw up, because it’s too disgusting
2. Why you ignored me…?
3. My heart felt pain and am very confused…
4. Please tell me why…
5. Why don’t you reply me…?
6. What have I done?
7. …

A let me see those notes and I asked why don’t she tear these notes or throw them away. A said that she let her mother see and her mother said not to throw them away in case something happens.  With all those ‘dear…’ that B address A, A also noted that the notes that B wrote to her is like someone wrote a love letter to her.

And one day, I saw that A felt like crying but she held it. I accompanied her to the toilet, and she kept washing her face. I felt perplexed. I also thought for the reasons she wanted to cry. The first was that A wanted to be friends with B but at the same time she does not feel like doing so. The second reason was she felt guilty/she does not want to hurt B’s feelings but she already hurt her.

The matter of conflict and guilt. As simple as that.

And the event goes on…

-P

Cross-country running

Today was the cross-country running competition of my school, and I thought that their real intention were supposed to be making up classes (?) for the CNY Holiday.

Reached school at 7.22 am. I’ve never been appointed to any task or duty or whatever, so I got to run for crying out loud. The distance for the whole school was 5km. But seriously it’s just a short distance for me. But it also took me about 50 minutes to finish it.

Categories:

• P1 – Grade 11 and 12 girls (Perempuan Tingkatan 5 dan 6)
• L1 – Grade 11 and 12 boys (Lelaki Tingkatan 5 and 6)
• P2 – Grade 9 and 10 girls (Perempuan Tingkatan 3 dan 4)
• L2 – Grade 9 and 10 boys (Lelaki Tingkatan 3 and 4)
• P3 – Grade 7 and 8 girls (Perempuan Tingkatan 1 dan 2)
• L3 – Grade 7 and 8 boys (Lelaki Tingkatan 1 and 2)

The rules were those who completed the run in 40 minutes get to contribute one mark to their respective sport teams (red, yellow, green, blue and purple). Not to mention that the first place of each category get to contribute more points lah. So I was quite annoyed that I never got to run to the finishing line in the required time.

Everyone were given a coupon for redeeming drinks and food the previous day before the cross-country running. When I went to the counter to redeem water and food, much to my diastase that they only offer bottled water. WE PAID 5 RINGGIT AND YET YOU ONLY GAVE US  BOTTLED WATER. 

I also had a great and fun time with my friend. She’s very nice (she treated me food) and we talked like dunno how many topics today (anime, dog, flower shop and valentines day wtf, songs etc). I’ve never been so talkative lately. I don’t really talk with people, except with people that have knowledge and wisdom and my close friend. I really am grateful to her for accompanying me along the run.

During the prize giving ceremony, I never really paid attention to the cheers and everything. Just what am I doing here, it’s nothing got to do with me. Was what I thought most of the time. And some more why the Green House (Yes, I’m in the Green House.) must sit under the scorching hot sun while the Purple and Blue Houses respectively get to sit under the shady place? Green House must be super dimwit to choose that place at first.

I got somewhat frustrated and just dragged my friend to the shadier place at the staircase or walkway. I also cursed myself why am I so dumb? And why be so hard on yourself? Just  sit anywhere will do except UNDER THE SUN. 

The whole event ended at about 12.30 pm with the singing of the school song.

Below I’m gonna break some inside news (I think). Just overheard a conversation between a boy and a girl. I’m just the third party to give away everything the boy said. I’m not the witness or anything, so what the boy said may not be true or genuine.

That guy (teacher) so racist lah. I ran to the finishing line in the required time but that teacher never recorded down my name and gave me the number card (what place you are in the run). Another woman teacher beside him said that there’s still time left but the guy just ignore it and my presence. But that teacher gave the number card to the Malay (I think) boy when some other teacher shouted 3…2…1!

—— Boy to Girl

So all,

-P.

To Some Madam

To some Madam:

I’m just guessing why you swapped my place in that particular class to another class with your daughter’s.

Maybe the teachers in that particular class is good and teaches well.

Maybe you thought that the teachers in the class your daughter’s supposed to go is not so good.

Well, I saw my name before on your desk before and everything make sense.

You never taught me, so why you write my name there?

There’s something I don’t get that time.

And now I know why.

You’re one of the teachers that manage the class partition for Form 2.

So you can put your daughter in a class with better teachers.

That makes twice not fair for me, you know.

I heard that the particular class teachers gave ‘heavy’ work.

Yes, I don’t like pressures. I have my own way.

But I still don’t thank you for exchanging classes with your daughter.

Because the teachers teach well in that particular class. That’s the point.

That means I’m the one that loss.

Teacher’s child have privilege?

Boo. I don’t take that.

Just a kind reminder – don’t think you’re a teacher so you can manipulate the list of class partition that’s fixed. That’s a very selfish action. Yes, I’m just a minor student in school, so what? That’s my hard earned fruit.

Your daughter’s strength is not good as mine, and that’s not my problem. Her priority is first just because you’re a teacher? Pathetic.

Everyone is the same in school – no matter you’re who’s daughter or son. The country’s president or just a worker in a company.

Sincerely,

A  Form 2 student from a cluster school in Malaysia.