It’s been a while

No, it has been four long years. Hello there, I’m back here to peek for while although actually I’m in the midst of my trials. I’m also very relieved to find that although left untouched for a long period of time, everything is still the same here.

Four years. Wow. I had many blogs back then but normally I don’t post new entries there and just leave it in an ‘abandoned’ state. I cannot do the same thing for this blog because this will remain as my permanent base, since I still adopt the pseudonym Winged Puff (wow I’m actually talking crap

Anyway, life is still the same for me since the past four years.  Although, for me, the years back then seemed very distance and unreachable. Currently, I’m still wandering towards the depth of ACG field, an avid cat lover, and still loving myself. Luckily, the future is full of unimaginable possibilities and chances, it it clearly up to me whether to grasp it whenever a spark is ignited.

-P

I’ll continue to play with you

You wanted to continue the game. Then fine, I’ll finish it off with you!  I’ll continue playing with you until you’re tired and see how you can stand it.

To those who wear low socks.

-P

Friendship

I wonder, why friendship can bring so many frustrations? The truth is, friendship doesn’t last for eternity. But then why? It’s not like you’ll be remembering him or her after ten or twenty years, unless you keep in touch with them.

I’m bond to silence. I don’t talk to people at school. Even with my fellow prefects friends. She said it right, “It’s not that I don’t talk to them, it’s that I have nothing to talk to them.” And all they talk were rubbish. The last sentence said it all. They talk nonsense.

People said I’m lonely. F you, I’m not. I don’t want to defense myself. When anyone asks me that, I just look at her, turn away or just smile. That’s the fact.

I’ll choose to talk to adults or teachers more than the fellows that were same age with me. I don’t know why, but that’s what I prefer. It’s the feeling that you get to benefit when you talk to elders, more than fiddling with your fellows all day.

I going to tell you one true story. About friendship. It’s real and if you doubt it then never mind. I do find the whole thing quite hilarious but at the same time it’s not a thing to laugh.

It’s a brand new year and everyone get separated to a new class. And it’s normal to have new friends. A girl who sat beside me, whom I will call her A, get to know with another girl, whom I will call her B. A and B quickly became good friends.

…. (omit more nonsense, getting to the real point now) On our Facebook Class Group, there’s always the abbreviation of the word ‘PSP’, and it seems our classmates always talk about it. And I guess they are referring to someone, that’s it, other than that, I don’t know the true identity of that person.

Then when A comes online, she saw the ‘PSP’ thing so she asked classmates who were online at the group chat. Here’s how it goes:

• A: Who’s this PSP you guys are talking about?
• C: You sure you wanna know?
• D: Oh, it’s B lah. It’s a incident that happened during last year…. (omit more nonsense again) So we call her PSP.
• C: Why you tell her??!!
• D: She want to know the truth mah. Then I tell her lor.
• A: So that’s the reason you guys don’t friend her lah.
• C: Yes. Even the boys knew this.
• E: You tau tak (know or not) she is very good friends with PSP leh.
• D: I know… A, you won’t tell her right?
• A: I won’t tell her. Promise.

Then A ask me something…

• A: You know the PSP (B) thing already right?
• Me: Yes.
• A: Do you hate PSP?

I froze. True, I do find B quite annoying and she loves to provoke me sometimes. But I never showed my resentful side of her to anyone. I got over with it. And at the same time I don’t wanna hurt A’s feelings.

I just replied…

• Me: Seriously I don’t hate anyone. I’m neutral.
• A: =)

TOTAL BIG LIE BUT FINE. #pokerface.jpg

And from that very day, A treats B very cold. She never talks to B. And day after day B finds that it’s very unusual and weird. B evens ask me why. All I told her was  “She got some troublesome things to take care. Better don’t provoke her.”  ANOTHER BIG LIE. But never mind. A said I’m ‘well said’.

One more thing worth mentioning was A kept sending notes to B. Before that (before the whole thing about PSP), B also sent a note to me. The content was mostly about letting her be oral partners with A. But I refuse. Serve her right. She make up something about ‘will be transferring school anytime and want to have good memories with A’. Rubbish. Everyone knows it’s a lie. Wonderful memories can be made by using many ways.

I am quite surprised that she use such ‘traditional’ way. And I also thought this type of childish act only happens in elementary or primary school. B sent A approximately 4 notes already, but B received no response from A.

Most of her notes always have these:

1. Dear A… – made A wanted to throw up, because it’s too disgusting
2. Why you ignored me…?
3. My heart felt pain and am very confused…
4. Please tell me why…
5. Why don’t you reply me…?
6. What have I done?
7. …

A let me see those notes and I asked why don’t she tear these notes or throw them away. A said that she let her mother see and her mother said not to throw them away in case something happens.  With all those ‘dear…’ that B address A, A also noted that the notes that B wrote to her is like someone wrote a love letter to her.

And one day, I saw that A felt like crying but she held it. I accompanied her to the toilet, and she kept washing her face. I felt perplexed. I also thought for the reasons she wanted to cry. The first was that A wanted to be friends with B but at the same time she does not feel like doing so. The second reason was she felt guilty/she does not want to hurt B’s feelings but she already hurt her.

The matter of conflict and guilt. As simple as that.

And the event goes on…

-P

To Some Madam

To some Madam:

I’m just guessing why you swapped my place in that particular class to another class with your daughter’s.

Maybe the teachers in that particular class is good and teaches well.

Maybe you thought that the teachers in the class your daughter’s supposed to go is not so good.

Well, I saw my name before on your desk before and everything make sense.

You never taught me, so why you write my name there?

There’s something I don’t get that time.

And now I know why.

You’re one of the teachers that manage the class partition for Form 2.

So you can put your daughter in a class with better teachers.

That makes twice not fair for me, you know.

I heard that the particular class teachers gave ‘heavy’ work.

Yes, I don’t like pressures. I have my own way.

But I still don’t thank you for exchanging classes with your daughter.

Because the teachers teach well in that particular class. That’s the point.

That means I’m the one that loss.

Teacher’s child have privilege?

Boo. I don’t take that.

Just a kind reminder – don’t think you’re a teacher so you can manipulate the list of class partition that’s fixed. That’s a very selfish action. Yes, I’m just a minor student in school, so what? That’s my hard earned fruit.

Your daughter’s strength is not good as mine, and that’s not my problem. Her priority is first just because you’re a teacher? Pathetic.

Everyone is the same in school – no matter you’re who’s daughter or son. The country’s president or just a worker in a company.

Sincerely,

A  Form 2 student from a cluster school in Malaysia.